When Ben and I first started dating, it seemed like our life was reflected in Country songs. Every decision we were making, tough time we were going to go through, all the happiness we had was summed up nicely for us right there on the radio. One of our favorites is still "Time Marches On". Because, how can you argue with that? And of course, in addition to that is the line (in that song) "The only thing that stays the same is: Everything Changes." That line fits quite nicely with our lives.. predictably unpredictable is how I decribed it a few weeks ago. But lets be honest, right now we have a plan. As crazy as the next 6 months is going to be, it is planned out. Somehow that fact is not as comforting as I thought it would be. I guess because right now it seems like there is so much going on at once. And yet, without Ben here, its like nothing is going on at all. In case you haven't guessed already I talk in circles anytime the military is involved. They drive me to it because they do it themselves :). Anyways. I looked back today at the blogs from my trip. Somehow those 3 weeks seem like a lifetime ago. And yet I feel I was just there yesterday (see what I mean about talking in circles?). The experience was so amazing. Sometimes it doesn't seem real that I was there, that I did all that, saw what I saw and lived where I lived. Amazing. I think the reason it doesn't seem real is because I came home and "Time Marches On"..
The night we returned to the US we got in LATE. At the airport I was introduced to family members and loved ones who were so excited to see the others in my group return. I have to admit that was a little hard, there was no one for me to introduce. I had planned to spend that night at Terri's sister's house south of Wilmington, but I was ready to be home in my own bed. I got back to Jacksonville about 1am. I was so excited to be back in my own house, I think I stayed up until 5am. Ok, so it was part excitement and part the fact that I had missed all the season finales of my TV shows and it was driving me crazy to know they were stored in the DVR and I would be waiting til morning to watch them. The next day I unpacked and organized and got myself ready to drive home to Missouri. Sure, I could have rested here a little longer, but the empty house was lonely. It was time to be with family and time to see my Sugar. I drove home on Wednesday (I didn't realize it at the time but that was my last Solo trip TO Missouri from North Carolina.) Ben and I will drive it together in December when we cross the country.. but no more crazy 14+ hour drives to Missouri. (I'm still doing a crazy solo 14+ hour drive BACK to North Carolina with Ben's truck however) It took me a few days to adjust to driving and the number of people here. Actually the day after I got back I went to Walmart and I was shocked at how many Marines there were. 4 years I've lived here and in 3 weeks I'd forgotten all about the fact that there were Marines in this town. :) I was pretty stoked to see the Osprey fly over the house. I may be a dork in that respect but they make me smile. Back in Missouri, it was great. I was so happy to be with my family and see my neices and nephews. It was so nice just to sit and relax with them, but also I could have sat and talked with everyone for hours. I tried to show them pictures, I think it got to be a little too much to see them all in one sitting. But it was great to talk to other people about it. I mean, for 3 weeks I was talking to people who were going through it with me, and then to my instructors- in Spanish- I'm surprised my family didn't tell me to shut up about Costa Rica after awhile. My visit to Missouri was special because I had my neices and nephews with me each night. One at a time of course. I loved it. Its so awesome to see how individual they are and I wouldn't trade that for anything. I got to see that David analyzes movies just like me, Isabel has a hilarious sense of humor, Autumn is so brave to add to a conversation even with people she doesnt' know well, Isaiah has the best manners and wants to know everyone, and Samuel is just constantly estatic (we had been driving in the car maybe 5 minutes after leaving his house and he looks to me and says- This is SO Much Fun!) I'm so lucky to know them. And I'm so so excited about my Godbaby who is coming so soon. :)
After my trip to Missouri, Sugar and I came back here and started putting everything back together again. I think my first day here I was so overwhelmed as I sat down to write a to-do list. Impossible. I still think it is impossible. But I have to do it.. I had a week until Summer Session II started so I got to work on projects around the house. And currently I'm still in the middle of almost all of them. I'm proud to say the living room is finished.. almost. I have to hang some things on the wall, but other than that, it is finished. And if I hang nothing on the wall, its actually one less thing to take down and pack. So I may skip that all together. :) It'll all get marked off that to-do list one way or another.
I'm currently taking two classes at UNCW's Main Campus. PE/Health Methods and Children's Literature. One class begins at 8 am. That means I have to leave my house at 640am in order to get to Wilmington on time. Its a long drive and I don't even want to think about how much gas I'm using. I usually get back to Jacksonville around 345pm. Its a long day but I have to get these two classes in before the fall semester. Its so strange to be in classes with people I don't know. In Jacksonville, at the Extension campus, most of us were in the same classes together, or in SNCAE so I knew the people there. This is a little different but I'm enjoying it.
So Time has marched on since my trip.. But, as I pointed out- it seems like nothing at all. Its all a blur because Ben is usually my focus. I can't believe he's been gone since January. I can't believe I've done all I have minus him. The great thing is that through email I feel like he's right there with me. But, its not the same I'm afraid. But soon, he'll be here again. Soon he'll be back. I try to stop my train of thought there. I try not to think beyond it. Because once Ben is back is the scary part, the stuff I'm not prepared for. Student teaching, packing up the house, Ben leaving.. Stop Stop Stop. I always back track and try my best to focus on Ben being home. And 80% of the time that works. I'm so excited for that event, that it blurs out anything that happens after. But the other 20% I wish time would stop after he returned. That we could have a few weeks of peace.. spend those weeks together focusing on nothing else. But.. as I have to admit 20% of the time.. Time marches on. And in reality, we'll have 5-7 days before my fall semester and student teaching begins. Yikes. But tonight I'm going to backtrack.. I'm going to make it an 80% night and think of how great it will be to sit beside him in his new truck :) and how estatic our pup will be when he comes home. The end is in sight... and so is the beginning..
Time Marches On...
